omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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