What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
