Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
