piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
