you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm at about main and main street
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
