I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
