If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
