Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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