Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
