What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
