Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
