Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
