Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
time to smoke my breakfast
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
