I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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