I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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