is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
