just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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