Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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