I want to have your abortion
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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