Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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