I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize