Cold hands, warm shart.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize