You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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