Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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