I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need moral support for this bender
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
