told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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