When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
