So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
