I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
