The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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