Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
