She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
