She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
