Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
