I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
