After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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