Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
