i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize