Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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