The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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