There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You did what with his pubic hair?
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