I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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