I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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