chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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