Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
