so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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