So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
