Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
