I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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