Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
