i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
