I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
