Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
