she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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