i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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